Run these five questions before any new AI app gets installed. Each one takes less than a minute. Together, they tell you almost everything you need to know.
Question 1: How does this app make money?
Why it matters: If the product is free, you — and your child's data and attention — are the product. AI apps that run on advertising have an economic incentive to maximize the time your child spends using them, not their wellbeing or learning.
- 🔴 Red flag: Ad-supported, "freemium" with aggressive upsells, unclear or nonexistent business model explanation
- 🟢 Green flag: Subscription-based, institutional purchase (school-licensed), nonprofit with transparent funding
Question 2: What's the real age requirement, and how is it enforced?
Why it matters: Most AI apps claim to require users to be 13+, but few actually verify it. An age gate that's just a checkbox or a date-of-birth field means your 10-year-old can sign up by lying with one click.
- 🔴 Red flag: Age requirement is a checkbox or self-reported date entry with no verification step
- 🟢 Green flag: Parental consent mechanism required for under-13, school-licensed with institutional controls, or identity verification beyond self-report
Question 3: What does this app collect, and where does it go?
Why it matters: AI apps collect conversation data. Those conversations can be more revealing than anything your child posts on social media — they capture fears, questions, relationships, struggles, and private reasoning. Understanding what gets stored and who can access it is essential.
- 🔴 Red flag: Privacy policy language like "data may be shared with partners" or "used to improve our services" with no opt-out; no clear data retention limit
- 🟢 Green flag: Clear data retention limits, explicit opt-out from training data use, no third-party data sharing for advertising purposes
How to check: search "[App name] privacy policy" and look specifically for "training data," "third parties," and "retention."
Question 4: Have you looked at sample conversations?
Why it matters: The tone and behavior of an AI — how it responds to sadness, conflict, romantic questions, or expressions of distress — shapes your child's expectations about relationships, authority, and emotional support, often without you knowing it's happening.
- 🔴 Red flag: You can't find sample conversations anywhere; the app is deliberately designed to feel private and relationship-like; reviews emphasize that it "really listens" or "never judges"
- 🟢 Green flag: You can easily find examples of how the AI responds to difficult topics; it consistently de-escalates emotional intensity and points users toward real-world support when appropriate
How to check: search "[App name] conversations reddit" or "[App name] examples" — users share real exchanges online.
Question 5: What's your family agreement for this app?
Why it matters: If your child downloads an app without a conversation, the app's design sets the norms — not your family. A two-minute conversation before the download happens is worth far more than a conversation after a problem develops.
- 🔴 Red flag: No discussion; your child is managing this independently; you're not sure what it does or why they want it
- 🟢 Green flag: You've talked about what it's for, what it's not for, and what to do if something feels off or uncomfortable
If you can answer all five confidently and the answers are green: proceed. If you're not sure on any of them, that's the conversation to have before the download happens.